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[30 Jul 2009|12:46pm] |
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an awesome update will go here shortly. i was on a pretty wild road trip across the country BUT drop off comments with stuff i can update about when i'm not running on just rockstar energy drinks. AND THOSE WHO WANT IMS, you can drop a comment here as well.
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[06 Jul 2009|10:24pm] |
my future reality tv show.
there are the classiest broads on reality tv shows. take a look around. there's angelique, god warrior, tila tequila, and new york, to name a few. first off, bret michaels is not hot. no. do not argue. HE IS NOT HOT. okay, he has his moments sometimes but he's constantly playing tonsil hockey with arabian chicks and girls that are more than half his age. cradle robber. tila tequila, on the other hand, is a pretty hot asian and i would tap that several times in one night and then several more times the next time. but other than that? none of those celebrities that are on those shows are DROP DEAD SEXY HOLY SHIT I WANNA FUCK YOU SO HARD-worthy. but since i'm hotter than all of them (yes, i am that arrogant now agree with me) i'm starting my own television show.
first rule of my television show: sluts are encouraged and welcome. that's why monroe is going to be on my show, HOLLA. monroe will be the only woman on my show, unless bspears, alix and rhia want to join in and mud wrestle. greatest lesbian fivesome ever. as i have informed xav, i also have jungle fever. i appreciate my dark chocolate. in fact, i would lick dark chocolate all night long. kidding, kind of. so there would a nice mix of dark chocolate and whities like monroe, rhia, and alix. delish.
a reality television show is not complete unless girls are beating the fuck out of each other or guys are being pussies and throwing their drinks on each other. why watch a television show that is chalk full of nice people? i would much rather see hair pulling, ass, and titties. thank you very much. that's why everyone on my show is going to walk around in the nude since rhia and i are starting our own nudist colony anyway and monroe is apparently joining, since she says she and i are nudists....we are. all of the challenges will be done in the nude too. yes, ALL OF THEM, going door to door to sell cookies to old women especially.
sexy bods. this is where i talk about monroe's sexy bod like i said i would. she has nice mocha skin and no tits, but she has a nicer bod than megan. so no one on this show is going to be as huge as god warrior (see monroe's update for a reference picture). too much ass is vomit-worthy and god warrior has, indeed, way too much ass for one white woman.
SEX. no, no sex. but i'll just drown everyone with my saliva because that's what they do on those shows...besides get totally hammered, which is why i'm going to supply free booze to all contestants. then they can cry on a speed bump after oddly having clothed lesbian sex so i can post it on the internet for money, like monroe gutting people and rhia's nudes/our sex videos.
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